


again

by omgpeachsnapple



Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Angst, Biting, Emet-Selch (Final Fantasy XIV) Needs a Hug, F/M, Female Warrior of Light (Final Fantasy XIV), Final Fantasy XIV: Shadowbringers, Hate Sex, Heavy Angst, Love/Hate, Patch 5.0: Shadowbringers Spoilers, Possessive Sex, Unnamed Warrior of Light (Final Fantasy XIV), and intensive therapy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-01
Updated: 2021-02-01
Packaged: 2021-03-12 12:08:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29135310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/omgpeachsnapple/pseuds/omgpeachsnapple
Summary: She is singing quietly, gently playing her harp as she sits beside the windowsill.
Relationships: Azem/Emet-Selch (Final Fantasy XIV), Emet-Selch & Warrior of Light (Final Fantasy XIV), Emet-Selch/Warrior of Light (Final Fantasy XIV)
Comments: 7
Kudos: 58





	again

I can see it in your eyes

Don’t give me that look

You’re the last person I need to pity me

Crying won’t pave the way to forgiveness

Every sin you carve is everlasting 

We’ll live for something as soon as we find it

May we come across that future

But we have to make it through again

I’ll strive to become stronger

I’ll carry onward, gaining friends and foes along the way

It’s so nostalgic, maybe all the love is worth the pain

Who am I waiting for?

\--

again

2021

\--

She is singing quietly, gently playing her harp as she sits beside the windowsill. The large windows are open, and he can see the gloom of the night sky behind her, the flashes of lightning cutting harsh lines through the inky skyline. Raindrops gather on the flowers she so carefully tends to, a habit that has endured for eons.

The shoebill perches on the railing; it makes him dizzy as his vision splits between seeing in front and behind her at once. Waving his hand, he dismisses the bird as he steps out of his black portal. Her voice falters as the bird flies off, the harp lowering to her lap.

“Come now, I wasn’t _so_ awful,” she scolds no one.

“Indeed, you weren’t.”

He dissipates as her spell shoots through where he had been standing, reappearing alongside her, and taking hold of her wrist as she springs to her feet.

Her eyes are the same pale blue they had been millennia ago, when she was still her proper, whole self.

“What do you want,” she asks blandly, tugging on her arm. He considers letting her go, letting her be. He isn’t entirely sure why he _is_ here, in her room in the Pendants. His mood had been continuously souring since their return from Rak’tika, since he had begun spending more and more time in her presence.

The Persephone who was not.

This shade, this blasphemous _abomination,_ could not hold a handle to the veritable inferno that had been the soul of her true self. Seven times rejoined she might be, ice crystal eyes she might have, but she was still no one. Nothing.

And yet he is still, infuriatingly, drawn to her.

“Emet-Selch?”

Her voice is soft, cautious, but unafraid. She has stopped trying to pull away; confusingly, it seems as though she is drawing closer, her brows furrowed in curiosity as she peers up at him.

The contrasting dark skin and white hair of this iteration are really quite lovely, he concedes.

She smells intoxicating standing this close to him, cinnamon and lavender and black tea. Yet, he says nothing as she reaches up with her free hand to touch his cheek gently. He is unnerved at the shudder he cannot suppress at her cool touch.

“Why do I… why do you feel so _familiar_?” her voice is bewildered, breathless; the way she gazes at him makes him feel a long-forgotten stir of yearning.

And rage.

“Because you have always been mine, _hero_. Longer than you can possibly know, ” he bites out before grasping her shoulders and capturing her mouth against his.

His kiss is fury, wild lust and self-loathing. He is startled when she returns his kiss, pressing the length of her body against him. Her unpredictability fuels him, and he fists the tangle of her hair, keeping her pinned against him even as he spins them to the wall beside the window. He shoves her against it; she lets out a moan low in her throat, hungry and primal, and he hardens against her stomach at the sound. He pushes her upward, and she wraps her legs around his waist. He can feel the heat of her, the dampness through her smalls.

“Oh, hero, what would your friends think of you, to see you now?” he hisses cruelly against her lips.

“No less than I think of myself,” she replies coldly as she squeezes her legs, pressing the hardness of him against her. There is desperation in her next kiss as she tries to bring him closer, bring him inside her.

He props her weight up with his thigh between her legs as he frees a hand to push aside her pantalettes, his fingers trailing along the soft petals of her folds. She whines against his lips as he slips a finger into her, then two, and curls them upwards. The intensity of her heat courses through him, liquid fire consuming him; he would gladly let it, let them go up in a blaze of rioting, torturous splendor if only she would stay by his side.

He hates her as he hates himself. Loathes her, loves her.

What a sentimental old man he has become. Foolish. Weak. Pathetic.

She is so quick to reach her peak, her walls tightening around his fingers, as his thumb moves in vicious circles around her little pearl. She cries out into his shoulder, cries out his name, her voice musical, enchanting.

No, not his name. His title. She had forgotten his name.

“Tell me what you want, my dear,” he purrs into her hair. Despite his ire, his burning need, he will not take a woman against her will. On that, he has always prided himself.

“Please,” she whispers. Her lithe fingers are on his belt, deftly working it open. The cool night air is an unwelcome rush against his newly freed skin. “Make me yours.”

He kisses her neck, the only affectionate gesture he is willing to give her, before he pushes the full, aching length of himself into her, briefly allowing her small frame time to adjust to him. Disappointment and despair are quick to flare within again; she is tiny and delicate when she had once been magnificently, effortlessly fitted to him as only soulmates of their kind could be.

Frustration overwhelms him, he withdraws and slams himself into her; she gives a cry of surprised pain that make the remnants of the man he used to be wince. Still, he is not forgiving or patient, and she narrows her eyes, rocking her hips to keep up with his ruthless pace. Thunder crashes just outside the open window, fading until the sound of the rain is the only thing they can hear aside from their quick, frantic breathing.

He feels the familiar tightening, meaning he is close, but a romantic, ridiculous part of him would have her finish first. He worries her tender bud, his fingers gentle, even if the rest of his movements are not. Her heavy breaths become erratic against his shoulder until she finally tosses her head back, fairly screaming as she crests over the edge. He allows himself to release then, his body racked by tremors as he spills into her. He bites deeply into the flesh of her neck, knowing it will mark her, set his claim on her.

The blue-silver of her soul is flaring with a radiance he has never seen in her before as he sets her down on trembling legs. She has her hands pressed against his chest as she tilts her head to meet his vivid golden gaze.

He can see it then, the memory dancing in the hidden depths of her mind. Just enough to make her confused, and not enough to mean she is close to being whole.

For a moment, she looks dazed, her eyes unfocused as she murmurs, “ _Hades_.”

His heart smashes into his stomach as she blinks, returning to herself with a sharp shake of her head.

“Who am I?” she asks, more to herself than him, her lips curling in distaste, as though he has poisoned her mind.

Emet-Selch’s smile is bitter.

“Only you, hero. And no one else.”

**Author's Note:**

> I've just decided to embrace the new home that is my trash can.  
> If you are a writer or just looking for recommendations and a group of beautiful people, join us in our discord!  
> https://discord.gg/wAEXc6uA


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